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Ask Sarita: Sex In Relationship

Sarita loves to answer your questions, so if there’s something you’d like her advice on, please email her and let her know if you are happy for it to be published (you can remain anonymous). Here she answers a question on:  your partner loosing interest in sex
Dear Sarita,
I have been married for over 20 years and my current situation is the following: my husband is turning 50 this year and has basically lost interest in sexual activities, he finds it boring. He has a degenerative neurological disease and is gradually getting disconnected from his body and emotions. He has had periods of depression and is under remedies for high blood pressure, cholesterol, etc… He gives me the impression he is stuck and lost. He hates personal development work and psychotherapy. He does see that all of that has an impact on me but is very generous with me financially. I am not perfect but I have a desire and belief for life, love and energy. I love him but have less and less fun with him and in life in general.
What can I do?
Love Jane
Hello Jane
I feel for you, as this must be a very challenging situation for you. I think you need to have a heart to heart talk with your husband, and find out how he wants to proceed in regards to your married life. You can tell him very frankly that you would like to have intimate sexual relations and that there is a possibility for doing groups to help your relationship to evolve. If he says no, he is not interested, then you can ask him how he feels about you having a lover and that you and he can still be married, but you also need to follow a positive life path for yourself. If he says he is fine with this arrangement, then you can seek out a Tantra partner who will be happy to do Tantra meditations with you and to discover Tantric sexuality.
If he says he is not interested in having sex with you and that he also does not want you to have sex with anyone else, then this is not a situation which will serve you in finding happiness, unless of course you are ready to lead a celibate life.
One option would be to practise Tantra together. I cannot promise that you and your husband’s sexual relationship will improve if you do the Soul Mate Tantra training. I can only say that over the years, I have seen so many miracles happen for people who have had all kinds of problems, that I am ready to believe that anything is possible.
Loving Regards,

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