From the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra: “At the start of sexual union, keep attentive on the fire in the beginning, and so continuing, avoid the embers in the end.”
One of the very beautiful teachings of Tantra is that we can use sex as a door to expanded consciousness, if we go into it with awareness.
With this sutra, we are connecting in the sex act to the space of eternity. Usually when people go into sex, they believe there is a beginning, middle and end, there’s a goal. They usually start with a little foreplay, then they go into penetrative sex, and in the penetrative sex there will be a lot of heat, activity and fire, and it will build up and build up and finally will come that amazing crescendo, which lasts for a few seconds and then it’s over, and then they may lay back and smoke a cigarette or go to sleep!
This doesn’t realise the full potential of what can happen in sex. I invite you to explore your full potential in sex and experiment with being a god or goddess. You can do this meditation alone or with a partner.
To practise this meditation:
- Forgot about the goal, completely. Drop the idea that there has to be an end, that there has to be a peak of excitement. We are moving into that warm, delicious, sensuous beginning, that courtship feeling, that divine surrender.
- As you are beginning the sex act, keep your focus on the fire in the beginning – that warming up, that heating up. At times there will be some flames arising but you don’t go towards the goal, you just stay with the flame. Then there will naturally be a sinking down, and then more flame. You allow yourself to go through waves of yin and yang, just allowing the energy to take you, not trying to make anything happen. And you never take it all the way up to the peak. You keep stoking the fire, but you never let it burn out completely. Find out how you can create more and more expansiveness rather than how you can create more and more heat. This means you will probably become very inventive as you find ways of stoking the fire – finding what points on the body stimulate arousal but don’t lead to peaking but to more awakening.
- Try awakening, through touch, these erogenous zones. For women: the forehead (third eye), breasts and belly. For the man: honour his sex centre – rather than trying to create a genital release, try stroking and holding and giving love to his lingam. Also his solar plexus and throat. For both men and women, massage the sacrum (bottom of the back) and either side of the spine.
- Experiment and play with these different erogenous zones as you are making love, and ride the waves of pleasure!
Sex can become absolutely timeless, beyond mind. You come so powerfully into the moment, you can truly transcend time and come into very deep and profound states of meditation. Forgot all about performance, forgot all about the goal, forgot all about the peak, just enjoy the journey – the journey is the goal!
Enjoyed this meditation? Want to try more like it? Check out Sarita’s online Vigyan Bhairav Tantra club, or by email, or or see her book, Divine Sexuality.